Some Much Needed Advice

     Well, this is the year I have been looking forward to for a LONG time.  My final year of pharmacy school.  The year without ANY tests (aside from licensing exams, of course), or classwork.  The year where I finally get to apply everything I’ve crammed in my head in the previous three years.  And, with this much anticipated year of pharmacy school, has come some hard decisions--- mainly revolving around my future, and what I’d like to do with it.

     The big question that I’ve been thinking (more like obsessing) about has been whether or not to pursue a residency.  Essentially, a residency is an additional 1-2 years of training post-pharmacy school.  Residency does provide more education, and opens more doors career wise (residency is a MUST to teach on the pharmacy school level, and also is becoming a requirement for clinical pharmacist jobs), but would require me to leave the state and take an initial pay cut (Residents typically make only 1/3 of what pharmacists make).   

     So, this has been my big debate.  I have been offered a job (the contract is being written up as we speak) with a retail chain.  This job wouldn’t be my ideal job as it would be in retail, but the pay is extremely cozy, and due to the saturated pharmacist job market in Utah--- it is comforting to know a job awaits me after graduation (especially when considering my student debt).    But, slaving away at a retail chain is not how I envisioned my future.

     I always imaged myself working more directly with patients.    I had a rotation this past summer in a senior clinic and spent anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour with each geriatric patient.  I fell in love with working with these patients, and I loved all of the stories and personalities I got to know. (And though my preceptor was at times hard, and the work demanding--- I did cry when the rotation ended, because this was the ideal setting for me and I felt like I was leaving home).   But, if I want a job like this I would need to complete a residency (and everything that goes with it--- the application process: letters of rec, letters of intent, interviews across the country; a move to a new place, and working crazy long hours for crazy poor pay).

     As I was discussing my dilemma with my mom (whether or not to walk away from a guaranteed job with great pay) to pursue getting (that’s right, the residency application process is tough, and there’s no guarantee I’ll get one--- even if I apply) a residency, she gave me some very wise advice. 

     She asked me to think about why I didn’t want to do residency.  My answer boiled down to fear.  Fear that I would spend all of this time, stress, and money interviewing with various programs across the country only to find out I wasn’t good enough to get in.  Fear that I’ll walk away from a job now, only to find that there’s not another one later down the road.  Fear that I’ll never be able to pay back my student loans. Fear that I’ll move to a place where there aren’t many people to socialize with and I’ll spend my entire life alone.  My big motivation in this decision was fear.  My mom then simply stated, “If your answer for doing anything is fear and fear alone, your decision is wrong.” 

     My mom typically isn’t so direct, she’s usually all about, “the decision is yours, you’ll just know what you’re supposed to do” kinda answer---so I was quite surprised by her direct, much needed advice.  I don’t want to look back over my life and see that every choice I made was simply the easiest or most convenient.  I don’t want every turn on my journey of life to be simply because it was ‘less scary’.  That’s not what life is all about.

    So, I’m gonna do this.  I’m gonna go for residency.  I’ll be applying to residency programs specializing in what’s known as ambulatory pharmacy (basically it’s pharmacy in the clinic setting) all over the country.  Yes, it’s going to be crazy.  Yes, it’s get expensive.  And yes, I’ll probably put on a few pounds from the excessive amount of chocolate I’ll be eating to get through.  But, I don’t want to ever look back over my life with regret.  So, thanks for your advice mom.  Your little girl is going to push her fear aside, and dream big!